shooting babies !
the smiths were unable to conceive children, and elected to use a
surrogate father to start their family. on the day the proxy father was to arrive, mr. smith kissed his wife and said, `i'm off. the man should be here soon. and don't worry about anything - - i love you and i trust you`
half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
`good morning madam. i've come to...`
`oh, no need to explain. i've been expecting you,` mrs. smith cut in.
`really?` the photographer asked, completely
surprised, `well, good!
`that's what my husband and i had hoped. please
come in and have a seat.`
leave everything to me. i usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. sometimes the living room floor is fun too, 'cause you can really spread out!`
`bathtub, living room floor? no wonder it didn't work for harry and me.`
`well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. but if we try several different positions, and i shoot from six or seven angles, i'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.`
`my, that's a lot of. . . ` gasped mrs. smith.
`madam, in my line of work, a man must take
his time. i'd love to be in and
`.....don't i know it,` mrs. smith said quietly.
the photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. `this was done on the top of a bus in downtown london.`
`oh my god!!` mrs. smith gasped, thinking to herself.................. on top of a bus !!!
'and these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.`
`she was difficult?` asked mrs. smith.
`yes, i'm afraid so. i finally had to take her to hyde park to get the job done right. people were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.`
`four and five deep?` asked mrs. smith, her eyes widened in mazement.......
`yes`, the photographer said. `and for more than three hours, too. the mother was constantly squealing and yelling - i could hardly concentrate. then darkness approached and i began to rush my shots. finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, i just packed it all in.`
mrs. smith leaned forward. `you mean they actually chewed on your, ...............um............equipment?`
`that's right. well, madam. now, if you're ready, i'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.`
`...your tripod............. ???????????`